A Rendezvous with my alternative
One said, “All things are difficult before they are easy” but I guess God didn’t want me to take the easy route a year back. Faces felt disguised, brain felt burdened and the pain, felt unbearable. It was like living a nightmare. It felt like my threshold of endurance had reached its peak. Messing up simple class tests, breaking relationships, failure in the sport that was closest to my heart-cricket, failing to achieve what people expected out of me. Basically, failing to be happy and just moving down the hill of recklessness like a cannonball.
For me it is exhilarating even to get my Game-kit in place for the D-day, except there was no-more D-day. My performance took a hit, continuous single digit scores, horrific bowling figures and casual fielding. I was frustrated, heartbroken and was constantly accusing God for this bad phase. It was as if all cards were stacked against me even before the game had begun. It was awful, my behavior had changed, I had become this agitated soul living life helplessly. An entirely different entity took over me. Let’s say I was consumed by pessimism completely.
Dropping grades demotivated me further, up to such an extent where I even questioned my ability to survive in this competitive society. I was afraid someone would just walk right over me and I will just be lying on the floor like a pile of dust. A bomb detonated within me making me go down the road of dismay.
Just when the pitcher of negativity, depression, unworthiness, regret and timidity reached its brim I came across this beautiful book called “The secret” by Rhonda Byrne which touched a cord in me and steered me towards positivity. It helped me tremendously to brave this rough patch in which I was even willing to accept this clobbered version of me. The book reverberated the fact that there is always something better waiting for us, life is like an arrow, it pulls us back with difficulties to only launch us onto something greater. This hardship was rather a sign that it was time to work on myself rather than being disheartened and morose. The book taught me that no matter what the situation, what we think we attract. It helped me erase all my negative, sorrowful thoughts and gave me a spark of hope in each and everything I did next. During this phase I realized I was grieving for things I had lost instead of cherishing things that I had and that I can make my life so much better only by good thoughts.
From carrying the burden of my failures I went on to telling myself that, “Today you are going to hit a century,” from crying over broken relationships I went on to enhance the ones I had, from bad tests I went onto topping subject tests, from living in a dark hole I went on to admire the tiniest of things by simply believing in myself and my capabilities. The trying times had thrust me down to the ground, congested me with futile thoughts and wrecked me but “The secret’s” sayings went on to amplifying the strength in me to truly achieve success in life.
Today, challenges still keep coming my way, but instead of dodging these like bouncers I stay put to my guard, adamant and determined with a calm and confident mind. These failures broke me but the way I chose to heal them made me stronger. The next time I am heart-broken I will be ready to point a finger but not at someone else but at my own mind because now I know that happiness in my life depends solely on the quality of MY thoughts. Life is too short to be worried or to be in pain perennially. The aim is NOT just to breath it out but to live it to the fullest!