With Valentine’s Day upon us, we’ve been thinking a lot about teen love and laughing a little, too.

This week my sister sent me a very funny Instagram reel of a son explaining Gen Z dating to his father ("Gen Z dating explained by @zayzeroni" posted by @kevonstage on Instagram) that breaks down how Gen Z and teens “date” today. It’s a whole new language that made me laugh… and feel pretty out of touch. 

Here’s the CliffsNote version: There’s the 1) talking stage with lots of texting and zero clarity. Sometimes that turns into a 2) situationship, something that feels like a relationship, but no one will say it out loud. There’s 3) love-bombing (all the attention, all at once), often followed by 4) ghosting (and then, nothing). And of course, 5) the ick, when one tiny thing instantly ends all romantic interest. 

Young love is complicated. It’s entertaining, but also telling. 

I read a recent article about teen dating, and one story really stuck with me. An 18-year-old described herself as “a big romantic” – loves rom-coms, gets crushes easily, and dissects texts with her friends, yet she’s never been kissed. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because the current options don’t feel right. She doesn’t want a random hookup or emotional whiplash. She wants something real.

And it turns out, she’s not alone.

More and more teens – guys and girls – are opting out of dating not because they don’t believe in love, but because apparently they care deeply about how it feels. They want connection, but on their own terms. Less performative and confusing, and more genuine.

So this Valentine’s Day, if your teen seems uninterested in dating or extremely invested in decoding a single text, they’re probably doing exactly what teens have always done: trying to figure out love, one awkward stage at a time. Just a new language.

With love,

Stephanie

PS: If you’re raising a teen boy, love may not come out in words. Sometimes it looks like loyalty, humor, or quietly showing up. Not all love is loud, but it’s still real.