Today marks nine years of 31st State. 

Nine years ago, I wasn’t trying to start a business. I was watching my sons enter adolescence, struggling through those choppy waters just as much as my daughter was. I wanted to help them navigate it and grow into amazing young men at a time when masculinity felt like such a complicated thing to be handed. Nobody was talking to boys back then, or to their parents. We’ve come a long way since, but at the time, I remember feeling like I was on my own.

What surprised me most was watching my sons feel just as insecure about their appearance as my daughter did. A new self-consciousness and social media making it all louder.

So we built something simple for them. A guy was never going to work through ten steps of lotions and potions, so we didn’t ask him to. But if I’m honest, the products were never really the point. Every decision has run through the same question a lot of you ask yourselves daily: does this make it easier to raise him well?

Upon reflection, nine years running this business has taught me less about skincare and more about parenting, about what it actually takes to raise a boy well.

Raising a boy is one of the most important jobs there is, because of how much rides on it. Who he becomes shapes the friend, partner, and father he’ll be someday. And I’ve come to believe masculinity was never the problem. What we do with it, as parents and as a culture, is. So instead of shrinking my boys’ energy, I wanted to channel and celebrate it.

Maybe the thing I hold onto most is the idea that kindness and strength were never opposites. My boys’ school motto was simply be kind. Nine years in, I believe it more than ever. The boys who grow into the best men aren’t taught to be less. They’re taught to be kind, and to work toward something good.

I’ve learned so much about business these past nine years. But I’ve learned even more about raising them. I have a feeling that’s a story every one of you knows just as well as I do.

Here’s to nine years, and to every parent doing this work alongside me. 💪

Stephanie